God’s Love and Moral Failure (#1018)
"The enemy's chief strategy is to make dead things look alive." And wow, does it ever work! In the backdrop of yet another revelation of moral failure on the part of a Christian celebrity, Kyle and Wayne discuss how the theology of love can fail us in our desperate moments. The question remains, however: Why doesn't love and faith transform even its most ardent advocates? How can people give lip service to love and grace for decades and yet remain so utterly untransformed by it? Unless we discover God's kind of love inside his presence with us, we will remain unchanged and still act in our own expedience rather than treating others around us justly. And in the aftermath of failure, how does love restore the victims who suffer because of it and the one who fell to temptation?
Podcast Notes:
- The video version of this podcast
- My Grandmother's Hands
- Just Love, referred to in this podcast, is a book Wayne is writing with Tobie van der Westhuizen from South Africa. We hope to have it available in February 2026.
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Hello Wayne,
After listening to your most recent podcast; God’s Love and Moral Failure I felt led to respond. As you and Kyle were specifically sharing about Philip Yancey’s recent admittance of unfaithfulness I was led wayyy back to early April 2009 when I personally emailed you about the struggles I was going through with my husband. This will be a long email as I want to give you the back story…
At the time that I emailed you my husband and I had been married almost 29 years and had been listening to your podcasts with Brad on and off for the past couple of years. We had read The Shack shortly after it was published and were trying our best to learn about journeying with Jesus and following Him best we were able. We were involved in the “institutionalized church” setting all of our married life and raising our daughter differently; less legalistic than we did our two sons. I had written to you asking for advice for myself in how to show love and grace to my husband in the midst of the grief and loss of our youngest son who died in his sleep due to diabetic complications. Caleb was almost 21 and they were best buds, golfing together was their passion. My husband turned to alcohol and with it lots of lies, deception and back into sexual sin as well. You responded with much care and compassion as well as advice for me. Much more was shared but don’t need the details for now. I found myself crying out to the Lord in the haybarn on our property and He spoke to me ever so clearly, “I want you to love him through this” What? I said back to Him, “then you have to show me how because I have no clue!”
Fast forward to January 29, 2010 when my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer and terminal. He became the humblest man that I had not seen in decades!! He sought forgiveness from me, family, others he harmed and with his clients that he printed for when he delivered to them drunk. One of the last things that he spoke to me was, “do you know how much I love you? Thank you for not letting me die alone!” He died May 7, 2010.
God reminded me of the covenant I made before Him after my late husband had committed adultery back in 1989 when our boys were quite young. We were seeing a counselor and agreed to work through issues that we both needed to face. Did I have grounds for divorce according to the Bible, yes. But I know that our vows we shared to one another on our wedding day September 20, 1980(I was only 20 and he 22) were not just to one another but before our Lord and Savior as a covenant until death. God’s grace and mercy towards me flowed through me to extend the same toward my late husband over and over again.
After almost 5 years of being widowed and raising my daughter, God brought me a wonderful Christian man and we’ve been married now for almost 11 years. I could share multiple blessings that the Lord has given but must wrap this up!
I can understand why Philip’s Yancey’s wife is standing before our Lord beside him to care for him. She is not a victim in his choices or a door mat, but with courageous love choosing to press into Jesus and his depth of love like no other!
Just wanted to take the time to thank you for leading us into the gracious spaces of knowing how much He loves and in turn asking Him how to love those who we find so challenging to love how they personally feel loved!
Sorry for any grammatical errors, etc! Trust this makes some sense and God bless,
Rhonda
P.S. We met you in Castle Rock, CO in a private home way back in 2007 not long after our son died
There is a special place in God’s heart and in eternity for people like you, Rhonda, who dove deeply into love by giving it to someone who didn’t deserve it. Thank you for your example and for sharing it here. I hope it encourages others, and I hope they recognize it is not just another woman, “standing by her man.” You heard God’s invitation and responded to it, which I find so amazing. Obviously you found his grace in it all. And I’m blessed that you have found a companion to share this part of the journey with. Bless you, Rhonda. Your life is a gift.
Rhonda, just saying thank you for sharing your story. Appreciate your openness and how this impacts things which the rest of us are learning. Bless you, Sue
“The enemy’s chief strategy is to make dead things look alive”, drew me in as January tends to be a season of spiritual reflection for me. I realize that this should be a more consistent process, but this statement did provide focus. However, the discussion on the submission to temptation was brought to my consideration this morning in my Bible reading.
King Josiah while leading the cleansing of the nation noticed the tomb of an unnamed prophet who foretold the king’s actions. The prophet’s story is recounted in I Kings 13. It is interesting reading for anyone called to very public ministry. In the OT, there are dire consequences for the failure to obey even seemingly minute details. Praise God for His infinite mercy offered to all through Jesus.
The hard work though is restoring the broken human relationships left in the wake of sin. From a distance, one can only pray for those in ministry to have the devotion to the calling and strength of character to flee from temptation when the enemy inevitably unleashes it.
God bless you and thank you for your ministry to all free range Christians wherever they are free to roam.
Thank you for your encouragement to live life in the reality of God’s love for us.
My wife and I have survived infidelity. If it was not for the grace that was demeaned by the moral concern-ests ( making up words here I know) I probably wouldn’t have as strong a relationship with my wife and God as I do now. Now that there is distance from the harm caused (which I won’t lie can still sting from time to time ) and the grace of God infused in our lives. We could have taken the moral high ground and left each other in our pain. Reason and grace prevailed and we stuck it out. With the help of God we worked through it with intention to not lord it over each other and with conscious decision to not mistrust but trust both in each other and God that he had us in his hands. I am enriched to this day because we stuck it out . Gods grace and time can heal all wounds.
I love stories like that, where people do the relational work to bring healing out of tragedy and build a better foundation to continue forward. Thank you for sharing your story, Jonathan.