This is what Tracy Levinson, author of unashamed, wrote on her Facebook page about premarital sex.
"A young single couple recently asked me to help them discuss sexual boundaries while dating. I asked them to focus on the WHY before the WHAT. It 2 am and I just wrote this in response to their WHYs: Back to boundaries - I asked you both the question WHY have boundaries because the WHY will help you sometimes more than the WHAT of boundaries. If you simply focus on the WHAT (the actual guidelines) It’s like a diet or the law. Something you can break. Then if you have one slip up - what do you do?
"If you focus on the WHY first - Then you remember that GOD LOVES YOU BOTH and he did not give us advice on how to live to put us on a performance test. He gave us guidelines as a loving father to keep our hearts and bodies safe. Because of his great LOVE. And what do we do if we make a choice that is unwise? What if we blow a boundary? We immediately agree with GOD (which is the definition of repenting - to change our mind) We agree with God that whatever foolish choice we made is not His way - and therefore unsafe/unwise and that we are so grateful we are loved. God says no condemnation child. Now go on - sin no more. I don’t want you to hurt others or yourself - you are my kid and I am a good father.
"God wants us to remember that we have POWER over all temptation. The same power that rose Jesus from the dead dwells in us. God is living in our very being and adores us. Our sexuality is NOT a shameful part of us. It is a GIFT. God's mercy and grace triumph over even our worst decisions...But we have died to the power of sin - and we are called and empowered to live lives free from choices that are unloving. NO fear - It is LOVE - He wants you to BELIEVE that you can do all WISE and LOVING things through Christ who loves you…"