The Love of a Father
Wayne's just back from the Fort Worth area of Texas and in sharing some of that with Brad they end up talking about finding our security and freedom in the affection of a loving Father. Unfortunately religion teaches us to live out of our heads by finding and following a set of principles or doctrines that define a Father's love for us, but often without actually linking us to that Father. Connecting with God's love doesn't come by getting my doctrines all lined up, but in learning to live out of our hearts as he reveals himself in us. Learning to live loved is not just a message or a fad to follow but a reality God wants to teach us how to relax into.
Demi Moore's comments in Harper's Bazzar.
Great Joy in Kenya
“What scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.” Demi Moore
That is really sad and it seems to be the rule and not the exception for the vast majority of people. I have hope and faith in God that He will ultimately heal every wounded heart. If not here, then in the hereafter. . .
Hey guys, If we can’t rush into HIS throne room, leap upon HIS lap and beat HIS chest with rage, at times, who are we to turn to? Should we seek another? Should we blame another? Or should we not place the weight of all that is on his shoulders? How else can we truly fathom the depths of our love for each other? Only those who are afraid to place the onus of all creation on the great ” I AM” have another to fear and therefor love. It refreshes my hope and gives peace to open my fists as we enjoy our embrace. Please, never give credit ( blame ) to any thing or person. To me, it would be a slap to the face to HE who rose from the grave. Gman.
It occurred to me the other day that most people do not love themselves. Consider this: if a stranger followed you around saying negative things about everything you did, said, and even thought you wouldn’t stand for it. And you certainly wouldn’t tolerate it from a friend or family member. Yet we not only tolerate, but heed the negative thoughts we have that tell us we can’t do what we are attempting, or will never achieve what we want, or that beat us up and berate us for our failures. Tolerate our negative thoughts shows we don’t respect and love ourselves. Looking at it from a different perspective, the negative things we say to ourselves are at the very least unloving and unkind and at the worst, cruel and vicious. Most people would never dream of saying the same things to family, friends, or even strangers. Why do we respect strangers more than ourselves? Because we do not love ourselves. If deep inside we don’t love ourselves, then we do not feel that we are worthy of being loved. If we don’t feel worthy of being loved, how can we possibly accept and embrace God’s love for us which is so far beyond any love that the human mind or heart can conceive of?
“No greater gift you can give..than to become increasingly settled..that you’re already loved.” Love this! So true! I’m still trying to figure out, though, how this actually takes place in an individual’s life. Is it through word of mouth, teaching, relationship, revelation from the Spirit of God…all of the above? 🙂
In reply to Mark….you may want to go back and read some of the comments from the last podcast concerning abuse in families…..so much of the negative stuff is heaped on within the family….accusation, judgment, condemnation, humiliation, constant put-downs, lack of empathy, manipulation, the “never being good enough” to meet someone’s expectations…and people will tell you that those devastations to the heart and soul are even worse than the physical and sexual abuse some have endured. In the past couple decades advances in brain science have shown this all actually affects our brain development and physiology in profound ways. It starts very young….on my firstborn’s baptism day the pastor commented on how manipulative babies are…factually untrue on so many levels, but many people believe it. The churches tell us our default mode is badness, evil, sin….rather than telling us we carry the very breath of God and His life is in us and and our life is truly part of Him (think body of Christ, vine & branches). Jesus came to tell us that human/the world’s judgment is not God’s way…that mercy triumphs over judgment…..we were made as part of God’s love and goodness, and to understand and share that, is why He gave us life. And when we do share His love, His mercy, His goodness…we can help restore and heal each other from that innate “badness” many of us were inculcated to believe is our identity.
“Living loved is a reality you relax in to rather than something to achieve – it’s revelational before it’s intellectual.” Love this!!!!
I went to church today. The Pastor (who is a well meaning and very good person) started the service by asking the congregation “who knows they are a wretched sinner”? Some hands went up and so he repeated the question until more hands went up.
I am newly returning to a relationship with Jesus/God. This is a small rural community. I would love dearly to have a conversation with this Pastor about a new way of relating to God’s love/Jesus’s message but after this today I am so discouraged about ever broaching this gap in understanding.
Your Podcasts, books, Transitions seem so radical… seem like we are talking about completely different Gods. I love my church friends and my heart aches when there is a message so full of shame and guilt. I don’t know how to reconcile being told we are accountable to each other with my feeling that I am accountable to Jesus and the Abba Father. I resent having the Church interjected between me and the Father. What am I missing? Am I being arrogant? Is the reason I feel attacked by a sermon like this because of some darkness in my soul? Who is the deceiver? How do you deal with well meaning people who use the term “positivism” (not in a good way) when one focuses on how loved we are rather than how wretched we are?
How can we as people who love Jesus/God be so divided have such different orientations to a relationship with the Father? I feel like telling the Pastor I can’t come to church anymore because I can’t stand being beaten up but I’m sure it would be interpreted as a lack of commitment or worse.
Do I have a responsibility to try and share such a different orientation or is it something that will only cause strife?
I love you guys. Keep up the good work. This world needs your message desperately.
More and more I am finding that there is an alive and knowable God that so many are missing out on. I remember discussing some theological things with a Catholic coworker one time that attended mass every Sunday. Any discussion that involved any concept of an “active” God was literally laughable to her.
Thankfully there are so many that do not fit into that description.
My wife and I have experienced very similar situations. For the last 5 years we’ve “attended” on and off. I usually have to get up and go outside because I can’t take the guilt trips, or someone proclaiming that he just got a message from God saying that we need to “do more to evangelize the lost.” I tend to be somewhat confrontational and have spoken to a number of pastors regarding what you describe. I’ve been met with everything from, “well, there may be something to what you say, but it’s not for right now” to “I’m telling you to leave my church right now!” So, in my humble opinion it won’t help. I’ve come to the conclusion that only how you live and love those God puts in your path is of any benefit. I understand and feel your pain though. We’ve had to walk away from these “churches” but we keep loving the people that allow us to love them. This has been our experience… it surely doesn’t mean it is the only way.
Jerry, thanks for your thoughts. I can never decide if it’s my own hubris that makes me want them to understand. I feel like I may not have the whole story but if we could have a dialog and understand each other it would raise us both up. The challenge is to stay involved and not feel condemned, “carnal” or to question if I’m falling prey to “the worldly”.
I’ve thought a lot about it this week and have decided I agree with you. The best way to share is to live it and let God work in His way. Watch for the opportunity to share and keep studying and praying.
This is so profound for me, and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate it even a year later. Full of emotion off this one. To tell you a little but about me and how I came about your pod casts a few months ago..This pod cast is very much what I have been dealing with and since I was in an abusive marriage starting before we got married 3 years ago I really lost my ‘lens’ and I always went back to this relationship in guilt because I felt that I was guilty and unlovable inside and couldn’t have it anywhere aside that Its all id known. Most of my life I have always felt this way by my parents, and that I just haven’t been enjoyable to them. My parents divorced young and moved on with their lives, remarried, had kids, I watched the years go by where I truly felt they lost interest in me, especially after my brother died of cancer at 18.
I was one of those people who tried to find love in all the wrong places after that, still maintaining my purity but if someone said they wanted to marry me I believed it instantly and did whatever they said. Even when I was seeking GOD and was considered to be someone so charismatic and radical lover of Jesus. I still landed in and attracted negative things into my life and it dug such a deep sense of unworthiness in me, especially when it was beaten into me so much that I deserved to be assaulted and that it was my fault why things happened. I finally found my way out of it 3 years later with my infant son, and ended up living with a friend who has unconditionally loved me and hasn’t thrown me out or made me feel insignificant. She introduced me to these pod casts and i have been listening to them with my 8 month old almost every day. As GOD heals me and brings me back to that place of encountering his love, I am praying that my perception of GOD is unveiled by all the shame and that I can lived loved and know the whole truth of who he feels about me in a greater and more powerful way that can eventually help others.
For the first time in my life I am living in a position where every person I have ever known or ran to in fear or shame is completely stripped out of my life-this includes churches, and getting to a church, in that I will know and intimately encounter his love for me in all dependance and understanding. It can be a scary place sometimes, because I don’t have those things to turn to but Jesus is their and he is loving me and teaching me about who he really is outside of religion and outside of co dependent relationships. It is wonderful.
If you an stand with me in prayer in this and as i keep listening to your pod casts and go deeper in his love for me that I would be completely healed of all the unworthiness and would be confident in his love for me and no longer live a life feeling unlovable and not worthy of anything GOD truly finds me worthy of. Thank you so much I love you guys so much and Thank GOD for this ministry that is truly authentic and Holy spirit inspired thank you!
While I was listening to this episode about how we feel unloved and unworthy of love I received an email requesting prayer for a boy who OD on sleeping pills. They were praying for his kidneys but all I could do was pray for his heart. All I could think was that here is a graphic example of what happens when we are not living loved and don’t feel worthy of love. I just asked that Father’s love would capture this boy.