Awakening To A Better Journey (#437)

Following up last week's podcast, Wayne continues the theme of seeing our spiritual progress as a journey rather than an achievement. That allows us to be real about where we are in him and confront the circumstances before us with honesty and openness. Wherever we give up hope that Jesus wants to transform us out of a growing relationship with him and substitute instead a list of rules or objectives, we've traded the life of Jesus for an empty religion. As he awakens us out of that bondage an amazing journey unfolds of increasing freedom and love. All we have to do is live in the reality of what he's already done in us and make space for whatever he wants to give us that day. So instead of looking for formulas, we're just learning to follow him.

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  1. Hi Wayne

    Much better. When I learned to love the victimizers as victims themselves my world changed. Whole story behind that sentence and a lot of years but is true. Set me free, actually. To love. Looks as though you are in the same space. You certainly don’t need this from me but way to go!



  2. Hi Wayne

    I have really enjoyed these last two podcasts. My Father has been impressing upon my heart that I am on a journey. He has also been showing me the great freedom I have in Jesus. Your words on letting Him lead in His love spoke to me. I felt God saying, “Just let me love you.” I find I am getting to that place in the journey where God is giving me more compassion for people and is changing me from the inside out. I struggled for many years with my feelings towards the institutional church. I stayed because I thought that was best for my young children. I no longer regularly attend church. The sad part is it is growing so much nobody has noticed! I thought my children might suffer but I find we have more open talks about Jesus and His love than I ever did before. I also realize that they are on their own journey and Father will reveal His love and keep them in His love as He is doing with me. Thank you so much for what you are doing. A friend directed me to your website. I am so glad he did. I am looking forward to the rest of this journey. I have been through a great deal personal stuff in the last two years but Father is working to help me understand that I can trust His love. He alone knows the rest of the journey.

  3. Mark, There is a lady in our community, a well respected church lady, who is kind, does baking and sends little cards to her friends. On the other side she was a school principal, a terrible bully, who has cost many people their jobs and their health. If you confront her or she becomes jealous of you she has an evil side. The community is divided. Those who know the nice person are unable to believe what the victims say. She is currently taking one of the victims to court demanding that they retract what they have said about her.
    Recently Jesus told me to pray for her because she is a victim too. Maybe to an evil spirit.

  4. Thanks Wayne as usual, recently I’ve found it helpful to realise we are all kids in the same playground (sorry school yard!) trying to look grown up. Maybe I’m beginning to enjoy the truth that I’m just a kid too. I haven’t got to the place where I ‘hurt for them’ yet but I’m beginning to have less of an urge to ‘hurt them’ – just kidding.
    Enjoy the journey

  5. Wayne, such a rich post. My wife and I kept stopping and making notes as Holy Spirit released greater revelation. Christ promised us freedom, not slavery. If we could only find ourselves in the role of servant. That doesn’t mean we need to have a huge set of rules, just be open to the voice of him who paid the price and loves us into that freedom.

    Keep up the great work, we all benefit as we pick up the pearls of wisdom and examine them for placement around our neck in the unique createion God has formed us to be.

  6. Bless you Wayne and greetings from the UK. Really appreciate your thoughts and in particular this latest podcast has touched something and brought some fresh insights to be. Be much blessed and enjoy your time with the family. x

  7. Thanks Wayne: for another another podcast pointing to more life! I realy enjoyed the part about being moved with compassion! No more trying to feel compassion For others …… It Just happens! It reminds me of our artisian Well in my front yard. I do nothing to make it flow …. It just flows..I just wonder and enjoy it!,!!!!! How simple!!!!
    I have been really enjoying watching Father work in others lately! At times it feels like I am a friend to A bridegroom who is enjoying watching Him win over His bride! Don’t know if that makes sense but it is very real and new to my journey! Seeing this is freeing me even more of my “responsibilitys” to win others for Him and Just allows me to Love Them for who they are in the present as they are! The winning He is awsome at! I am used to see him work in me but seeing Him working around me is an added bonus!

    Blessings from Ohio!

  8. Good to see you are still active Eve-Loraine!

    So sorry about the school principal. Yes, she is a victim as well. Bound by her fears manifesting itself in the need to control her various situations. She will crush anyone in her path so her position is not in jeopardy. Fear does that to you. I have worked for more than one like that. On the inside her soul is dry. Pray she may experience a real friend, and that a crisis would ensue. The crisis will bring her to the end of herself, and the friend will be able to guide her into truth. Real truth. Real peace. Genuine joy.

    Many never make this journey, but stay bound by their fears. There are some good videos on TED and You Tube by Joe Ehrmann. He talks about our macho culture, the John Wayne journey through life, rapper culture, etc. He found a unique release through love of all things. His story and journey have been encouraging to me. A confirmation of my path through life. Not much money or influence, but many interesting adventures. With the greatest adventure yet to come!

    May you be blessed, Eve-Loraine! You may be the only person praying for her. I have many stories to share about prayer for ornery people. You never know what the Holy Spirit may do in the middle of the night. He’s quite persistent (so I’m told) as well as an expert in these matters……..

    Accept this as an assignment from our Father. May you be blessed and persistent as well in this most holy task. Don’t be concerned with outward results. They may or may not be yours to know.


  9. Thank you Mark. It is so good to be heard. I have been struggling to understand this for some time. When I worked for her she was the deputy principal, not yet with ultimate power. I was one of the people sucked in by her charm who would have defended her. However I always knew not to cross her. Now I know the stories of the people destroyed by her. It is so good to have a better understanding of why people behave this way,

    Jesus told me that the people who touch my heart, touch His heart also. Now I see that is the other way around; they touched His heart first and He touched mine. (Hope you can understand that!)

  10. Do you know Paul Goutschi?
    Check out his garden!
    I think he’s someone you should get to know.
    Google “back to Eden garden- complete tour”
    He’s telling people about his garden and he can’t help sharing all the wonderful lessons God teaches him there.
    At the end of the video he tells someone:
    “this is where God is. Gods not in church”

  11. I enjoy hearing the Spirit work in you, Eve Loraine.

    Sometimes people experience abuse in their lives. Post Traumatic Stress syndrome is not for soldiers only. People deal with their past in unhealthy ways. Control of circumstances is one way. No one will ever hurt me again and I will make sure of that by controlling my environment. In many cases the abused becomes the abuser. So sad, but Jesus can break those chains. His love can penetrate even the deepest darkness. He walked every form of abuse imaginable, betrayal, pain, arrogant leaders, etc. He was able to trust His Father. I am able to do the same.

    I would say however that this path is not easy. Modern psychology can be helpful, but for me I needed a miracle. I discovered He is still in the miracle business. It happens different ways for different people, but I can assure you it will happen. It is the heart of our Father to heal, restore, make new and start over. The heart of the gospel of Jesus Christ is change. Whenever He showed up, things changed. When there is a possibility of using resources at hand to complete the task required, there is a danger of mixing self reliance with faith. When you come into the clear air and high altitude of the impossible, there is no room for anything else but God. What a frighteningly wonderful place to live! For in being there, real life begins to take place.

    May you be blessed today! For Jesus loves you, and there is nothing you can do about that!


  12. To Mark and Eve-Lorraine, thankyou for sharing your e-conversation. There are some deep pressures in my life and your thoughts re-people who are broken and bound by fear was a deep encouragement to me as I process some things with Jesus. I’m so thankful for having His wisdom to navigate some of these situations and as He leads to be engaged in prayer for people who are both “victims” and “victimizers”. Blessings.

  13. Hello Wayne,

    Thank you so much for the podcast. What really spoke to me was the part where you mentioned maybe God is changing something deeper in me when things don’t change the way I want them to. I think that’s what’s happening in my present situation; whereas I wanted to change the people around me, I am starting to feel compassion for their bondage. I also view people around me alot differently now; I am starting to feel compassion instead of compulsion. It’s an incredible journey; though often-times painful, I wouldn’t change it. It’s a great way to live – discovering the wonder of our Father.

  14. To Debbie: thanks for sharing about Paul Goutschi and the Back to Eden garden/film. I love the way he talks about God, enjoys him, and the lessons he’s taught through his garden. The curses described in the first few chapters of Genesis are exactly what they are, but not brought on by God, rather brought on by them/ourselves. Classic modern day example of Cain & Abel is burning cut branches/grass in suburbia – the smell is putrid and it causes angry neighbours (experience tells me that), yet the smell of lamb chops on a barbecue is inviting and good.
    We have a pile of mulch in our garden which has been sitting there for 18 months; it came from a number of 18m high trees on our neighbours property that family told us would be a curse for us building our home, I felt God say to me the trees were a blessing, and I’ve seen glimpses of their blessings already. Having seen some of Paul Goutschi’s story, the mulch has become a “OH MY GOODNESS, WOW!!!!!” blessing.

  15. Hi Wayne and everybody journey here together

    I don’t know everything either Wayne. And it’s okay that we won’t know this side of eternity. Maybe we will on the other side.

    I have concluded that church groups or fellowships are merely clubs that offer a program. Like all clubs though, they have the potential to be really good and beneficial or not. They can provide a place where people can bond with other brothers and sisters. Typically the leaders try so hard to project the people, sometimes they do a good job of it and sometimes try so hard they miss it by overprotecting and controlling. The only power that one should let these leaders of clubs have over them is if and where one chooses to partner in ministry in these club. Other than that they should have permission to speak, but only speak, into ones life. We all have to make our own choices and not let any leader do it for us.

    Like your saying Wayne, if you’ve been burnt hard in a church group and every time you go back and it just makes it worse, stay away until you can be there and not have the wounds heighten. Go back, if you’re meant to, when you’re meant to.

    Jesus’s church though is something much larger than a group/club on its own, although people belonging to his church can be found in these clubs. On the topic, I am so looking forward to the release of your new book Wayne.

    I’d just like to point out too that Jesus moved by grace and love in a pre-meditated act to crack the whip in the temple and also call the Pharisees you hypocrites, you white washed tombs. But, on the most part he actually confronted the religious (judgmental law spinners) with cunning questions and facts.

  16. I have re-signed up for your messages in my email. Too many strongholds clouded my perception when formerly I watched/listened to you. Thank you for YOUR journey and for sharing it.

    I am thrilled for this time you have with your beloved. Make marvelous memories.

    I am truly a recovering legalist…with decades of a law-based, Deuteronomy 28 mentality…now with awareness of that falsehood in all its dark folds and shadows. Unlearning has been turbulent…it seems that I am becoming more of a “book” of blank pages, like a child coming to awareness that walking is a distinct possibility…without all the falling flat on my face in attempts to get it right in a very wobbly “walk”.

    I am so humbled at how shredded the law makes one’s heart and soul, robbing the very personality with robotic living in the “land of shoulds”. I am so eager to grow in the Spirit, worship Father in the Spirit from my own spirit, and fully realize the “Power of the Cross” teachings on those CD’s.

    I am so blessed to finally realize what the church really is. I now attend a small home group where love is actually real.

  17. This is a response to “the Nut test.” I couldn’t figure out how to comment on it and ended up just posting a smiley face. Well that’s about right anyway.

    I read over that post about 3 times and it keeps coming back to me. It kinda says it all…in a nutshell **grimace**.

    I make art. Sometimes for money and sometimes just because I need to.

    There’s a painting in my past of a face with it’s mouth covered by a piece of metal and rivets to hold the metal over the mouth. It’s a child and it’s a voice.

    You know that feeling of wanting to say something that you’ve a gut sense is true, but you just can’t for whatever real or imagined reason? Like it’s been entombed inside you still alive and kicking, but with no way out and no sense of permission to try to find one?

    Or as you wrote, people know what they feel but aren’t sure how to express it with the clarity the feelings deserve.

    For myself, the habit is to censor my “voice” to the point of believing silence is safer. Somehow staying mute is more worthy…more valuable than saying something wrong or something that you find in time was spoken without understanding the truth or…blah, blah… whatever.

    Fear of coming to the wrong conclusion and acting on said conclusion. Yep, because that would mean…drumroll please: c-e-r-t-a-i-n DOOM.


    That’s what kept me in places and relationships I probably should have left sooner or never wandered into.

    When somebody who seems to have no fear of being mistaken speaks over you it’s awfully easy to think they have wisdom. Especially true if you don’t trust yourself (aka fear of being a nut in more ways than one) or haven’t learned to trust Jesus radiating through you. Christ in you, the hope of Glory and all.

    Here’s a little internal dialogue:

    Real Me: Um, don’t mean to disturb you but something just doesn’t feel right here.

    Me: Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

    Real Me: No, I really want to give you a heads up here since you seem to run the show. “There’s something rotten in the state of Denmark.”

    Me: Whatever.

    Real Me: Did you have the cyanide punch for breakfast?

    Me: Hey you, listen here, there are real, live miracles going on here. You can feel the unmistakable presence of God. These people are passionate about Jesus.

    Real Me: Okay, you got me there. They do seem to love Jesus, and I have felt His wonderful love here off and on, but there’s something else mixed in with the good things and it ain’t love.

    Me: They know stuff, they know the word, they know deep stuff. God’s done big things for them.

    Real Me: Maybe so. Still, what about that feeling that we aren’t fully accepted unless we do everything their way? It’s documented, you know. We have several instances to prove it.

    Or, hey, what about that almost constant sense of not measuring up?

    Oh wait, you’re one of them now, huh? Arrived and all that hogwash? Sweetly-smug now so screw.. .um, I mean, God help everybody else, hmm?

    Me: You are so cynical.

    Real Me: Come on…can we please, please be real this time?

    Me: Shut up. We’re done with this pathetic banter. You’re a rebel.

    Real Me: And you’re a superb parrot. Until next time.

    It went like that more or less in my 20’s and 30’s.

    Today it is better and the “real Me” get’s a whole lot more room to breathe and be heard.

    The real me is accepted by Jesus.

    Guess what though? Part of me still rejects that statement or doubts it or just struggles against that truth.

    Now to me that’s scary-nuts.

  18. Hello, Fay
    Yes, I am a Christian, yes I have an art blog so as to keep my sanity, (Jesus also helps me to stay sane) and Yes, I know exactly what you are talking about the ‘me’ and the ‘real me’. Wayne Jacobsen knows the ‘group’ of Christians whom I have met with for over 50 years, although he does not know me personally. The ‘group’ I was with is exactly what you are describing the ‘not measuring up’ and sometimes it was ‘gossip’ of untruths that caused some of the younger generation to just give up, and were ‘turned off’ because of the cynical mind-sets where if you spoke your own mind, and it didn’t ‘match up’ with the promoted ‘doctrine’ of dress code, or whatever else the rules were, you were literally ‘marked to be avoided’ ‘kicked out’ until proven not guilty. God does not work like that. He wants us to have our JOY FULL in Jesus Christ. I was always thinking to myself ‘something is just not right here’, even in my marriage the dumbed-down role of a wife and mother in the home and in the church was so blatantly against the Proverbs 31 woman, who was to be a strong influence in the home and in the church and those parts were ‘down-played’ in the ‘group’ of Christians I associated with. When I came to the conclusion that MY joy did not depend upon a certain set of rules or men’s doctrines, I found Christian books such as ‘Boundaries’ by John Townsend, which helped me on the road to freedom way before a lot of other people were beginning to see the real LIGHT. I am still in a part of the ‘group’ (mainly because I am waiting on my husband to see some more of the fallacies of the ‘group’ He does see the fallacy of so-called marking of people to be avoided, which happens when a person in the group associates with ‘other’ Christians in denominations and rubs shoulders with them. A very sick mindset, OR, if the rules and dress codes set down by men is compromised, a person can be marked to be avoided because of that too, which is an UNwritten doctrine.) So I still have to ‘keep my mouth shut’ and I am not able to really open my heart up to any of the other ladies or men, as to my real position of belief about the freedom we have in Christ above and beyond the walls of the divisions among Christians, as Jesus SEES NO WALLS! His banner over us is LOVE, His banner over all of His children the world over is LOVE! Denominational or religious buildings do not keep Him out, because he INHABITS His children THROUGH the Holy Spirit, and that Spirit is what frees us from the doubts and fears that tend to crowd our minds. The fruit of the Spirit first and foremost is LOVE. Where two or three of his children are gathered ANYWHERE in His name, He promises to be there, because he cannot deny himself, he cannot deny his own children, as the Holy Spirit is the witness within ourselves that we are the Lord’s. And NO MAN can take our JOY from us. It gives the individual Christian power over the dogma’s of religion which tend to rob a child of God of the true peace and joy that comes from being saved. And like Jesus said ‘If the world hates you, remember it hated Me before it hated you.’ As He was Holy, and Undefiled, unspotted from the world, separate from sinners, the only Begotten Son of the Father. And he is our Savior in all of the aspects of life that He can cover us under His wings. I know what you mean about the ‘censoring’ of your own voice. It is stifling to the Holy Spirit not to be able to express yourself so that the truth can be heard. And I think of the verse ‘Quench not the Spirit’. So what am I still doing with the ‘group’? I am waiting. ‘I waited patiently for the Lord, and he heard my cry.’ God knows all things. Jesus is the head of the Church, not men. He knows where every single child of his is in the world, and as children of God, we need to have the same love one toward another, whatever degree of knowledge we have in the Lord, we are ALL always growing in the Lord, and no man or woman is lesser or greater in the body of Christ. This IS the unity of the Spirit, the ONENESS, that Jesus has with the Father as recorded in John chapter 17, which Jesus wants all believers to have that unity in the Spirit, and we DO have it because His Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we are the Sons (and daughters) of God. ‘By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have LOVE one for another.’ This is my most favorite chapter in God’s Word. If you are in a group where love does not abound, and you can leave, then do so, but let people know why if you do leave. Bless them, love them, pray for them. OR stay with the fellowship you are with, and begin to ‘be’ yourself, and see if it doesn’t begin to rub off on other people, as they see that your JOY is in the Lord and because of the Lord. Even if you are shunned for it, remember Jesus was shunned for healing people, for raising the dead, for casting out demons, for letting people know he came from God, and he rebuked the proud Jews as they refused to believe in him. I didn’t leave certain situations earlier in my life either, as I didn’t know how to, and obviously I didn’t have the ways and the means, nor the spiritual support from any of my so-called ‘friends’ to get out of certain situations. So I stayed in certain situations, even though they hurt me to the depths of my inner most being, I knew that God protects those who wait for His defense. I did not want to be avenge myself. There is a time when God will avenge his children whether it is in this life or in the next. God is fair and knows all things. Sometimes we cannot leave certain situations because it is exactly where God wants us to be, and we actually GROW in the Lord and lean on Him and He becomes our constant companion. Isaiah 54:verses 5 and 6 helped me to realize God would be there for me spiritually, when my husband was not. I had to grow in the Lord for myself and not rely on a human men and also women, even though they were my brothers and sisters in Christ. They were just as ‘stuck’ as I was in the dogma’s they were raised in. So, I have also learned compassion, and to be patient with myself and with others.
    I hope this helps. God bless you in your life.

  19. Thanks to all posting here. Fay, thanks for posting your internal dialog. I think a lot of folks recognize themselves. Dave Coleman used to say that Christianity teaches us that “nice is better than honest.” Instead of there is no nice if we aren’t honest. We can be honest with ourselves and others and do it without being destructive, but for people who’ve been raised in environments where people are severely treated for honesty, it is tough to do. Teresa of California, my heart breaks for the oppression you’ve been under by people who thought they could speak and act on God’s behalf by destroying people through marking and shunning. l am blessed that your finding your way into the light out of all that darkness. It is one step at a time and with compassion for those still caught in the darkness. I pray for you both today that the light and life of Jesus will continue to awaken and that you’ll have the boldness to follow your heart even when others don’t know how to handle it and that God will demonstrate his graciousness to you over and over and over and over and over again.

    • Hello, dear brother Wayne
      Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers. For some of my brothers and sisters in Christ to be ‘stuck’ in a cult-type doctrine which feeds on angst driven performance, it grieves my heart as it is such an ingrained mind-set, they cant’ even see they are in the grasps of horrible contentions. That type of so-called spiritual paranoia tends to confuse the real reason of the unity in the whole body of Christ, world wide. We can continue to pray for those who are still ‘stuck’ in the trap of the ‘Sin of Sectarianism’ which is the dogma doctrine which has held that ‘group’ together for years. It is a stifling mind-set, with no joy. There is a lot of truth preached, BUT, the knowledge that tends to fill the minds of most who attend that fellowship, only serves to make proud the ones with that knowledge. The knowledge is used to beat down those who seem to not to be able to escape the leadership of those proud men. But, I am thankful to the Lord many are coming to the realization that there is freedom in listening to the Holy Spirit to guide and direct them. It is wonderful to see some of the older leaders realizing their own contribution to the confusion. My only hope, is that those who are coming ‘out’ of that cult-type group, realize they too, need to ‘prove all things’ for themselves or, whomever they are ‘following’ (as they will be following someone) they could end up right back in the same boat of sheep, not knowing which direction to go, as it is a heart and soul felt relationship with our Lord that we MUST make our own. Yes, it is the assemblies in the Texas, Virginia, and California areas which I am talking about and whom you have visited with many of them.

      God bless all of your efforts and for your encouragement. Jesus has overcome Death and hell for us and that is what we are here for to pass on that message to the world. Christ receiveth sinful men and women. What a great salvation we have, saving to the uttermost.

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