Fitting In Or Belonging (#669)

"Belonging is being accepted for yourself. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else." That's from a group of eighth graders interviewed by Dr. Brené Brown, but we all know it's true. Our need to belong often drives us to fit into other people's expectations, denying who God created us to be and keeping our relationships incredibly shallow. This is true in society as a whole, but more critically in family dynamics and religious institutions who focus on conformity as a condition for fellowship. Wayne's daughter, Julie joins him for this provocative look at how we can help create environments that invite people to belong, rather than just fit in with our expectations.

Podcast Notes:
Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown
The latest news from our project in Kenya


  1. Oh my- this is exactly what we have experienced. We aren’t jumping through the hoops anymore and while we are experiencing so much more of Father’s love, those in the “system” are greatly concerned for us and we just don’t belong anymore. It’s a journey to accept that it’s ok for them, our close family who are deep onto ministry, to not understand where we are and to let their concern for us be their own issue to work out. This was so helpful for me to feel that other people have dealt with this. We are seeing more and more acceptance of our own children as we learn how accepted we are by God.

  2. This is not a complaint. I’m simply going to remind you all that if you ever want to add a feature to this site to provide, or if anyone else knows how to simply make a transcript of these podcasts that would be very useful. My wife and I often listen together and we and maybe others would like to study these nuggets in greater detail. I’m experimenting with some phone & PC apps that might work but so far seem like they might be too cumbersome & time-consuming.

    But again, not a complaint. We love the podcasts and community you are continuing to build! PTL

  3. Thankful. Brought conviction to me in areas I have not accepted my children:(
    (My daughter has dealt with SPD at times and God gave me a verse to help me at the start of figuring that out; “do not be conformed to this world but be transformed”…He never meant for us to “conform” to be accepted but let her be free to be her even if that isn’t “fitting in” with what would be considered normal in certain minds.)
    And also thankful for the words “I will love you always no matter what” to be a part of my language.
    My prayer after this podcast is that I am a vessel of acceptance not rejection to my children.

  4. Still would love to hear your daughter Julie speak more when she is on the podcast but maybe this is by design 🙂

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