What If I Am Worthless? (#720)

What does your internal conversation look like in those quiet moments you think you are speaking only to you? Kyle Rice joins Wayne for this look at self-talk because he's been talking to a lot of young people who tell themselves every day how worthless they are. And, they believe it. Our self-talk can give voice to the enemy's lies and spiral us into darkness, or it can reflect the Father's delight and draw us back into the light. How do Kyle and Wayne deal with self-talk, and how can we use it to call our soul to a higher plane and become settled in the Father's desires for us?

Podcast Notes:
How To Stop Polarization Virus from Spreading -  Wayne's Interview in The Oklahoman
Email Kyle
Past Podcasts with Kyle
Wayne's Travel Schedule
The Latest from Kenya


  1. Kyle and Wayne, thanks for this discussion. As Father continues to walk me through an extremely challenging season (keeping it brief as we’re not sitting at a long lunch sharing dialogue)…this discussion (among the ways He has found to keep speaking to me in this space) has been an encouragement and a stepping stone for further thoughts and dialogue on my part. Thank you and may He bless you both. Sue

  2. Good Morning Sue. I am happy to hear that our conversation was an encouragement to you. I hope that God continues to provide you with a deeper level of clarity and wisdom as you take that next step into deeper relationship with Him.

  3. Dear Wayne, dear Brad, dear Kyle, dear Brothers and Sisters

    I have a new favorite reason why I dislike institutionalised churches, and distanced, unpersonal, one-way preaching from pulpits etc.
    It is like having sex with a whore – it might be technically perfect, but the main thing, true love inbetween is missing.
    And to know just how things look technically right makes it probably even worse in the life of the participants.


    Most people will not make it alone with God into the soft, beautiful life coming from God into our hearts.
    Yet God is not the problem. He gives us all we need into our hearts for that wonderful life, but without any pressure, that life is freedom, love, joy and peace.
    But most people are so trapped in their souls in various types of addictions that they can’t just resist and only follow the beautiful life in their hearts from God.
    This is why I recently insisted that we do need each other.
    Words alone are not enough. Even words about how good God is (what He really is!).

    But most people will only find the freedom to follow the beautiful life in the spirit of God when they come
    into a life, into deep friendships of mutual unconditional acceptance, trust and love with brothers and/or sisters. When they can be real and loved.

    Peter wrote that our souls will become clean in brotherly love (1 Peter 1:22), John wrote similar in 1 John 1:7.

    These are things which I believe God teached me in the past weeks and months through the fragile lifes of brothers and sisters in real life,
    and I struggled with the fear that they might become dependant on me instead of Jesus, instead of finding the true life with Jesus, BUT the opposite happens, the more that we find that real love and trust and acceptance with each other, the more free becomes their soul to find and follow the living Jesus.


  4. PS: What I meant by “But most people are so trapped in their souls in various types of addictions that they can’t just resist and only follow the beautiful life in their hearts from God.”:

    Much deeper than ordinary sin I’m speaking about the emotional addictions of the soul from the spirit of the world as John explains in 1 John 2:15-17, as in pride, or through another lens fear of man, the addiction to gain appreciation and acceptance through external things, by the way we look, behave, what we say or what we possess.
    They can’t let that just go and embrace that unconditional love and life from God.
    They might know everything about it, but they don’t feel it, they don’t experience it with God.

    Like Peterson brillantly translated in Romans 8 in the Message: “to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud”.
    Yes, this can be totally over with Jesus, but Paul also said in 2 Cor. 13: “And that’s about it, friends. Be cheerful. Keep things in good repair. Keep your spirits up. Think in harmony. Be agreeable. Do all that, and the God of love and peace will be with you for sure.”
    This firmly belongs to what Jesus said in John 6,39-40: “This, in a nutshell, is that will: that everything handed over to me by the Father be completed—not a single detail missed—and at the wrap-up of time I have everything and everyone put together, upright and whole. This is what my Father wants: that anyone who sees the Son and trusts who he is and what he does and then aligns with him will enter real life, eternal life. My part is to put them on their feet alive and whole at the completion of time.”
    To trust Him AND to align with Him.
    We need to live it with true Brothers and Sisters, mutual, entering that life of unconditional acceptance, unconditional trust and unconditional love with each other,
    even to the point of living for each other as Paul explains at the beginning of Philippians 2.

    But we can even trust Jesus that He will give us such deep friendships as a gift, in grace, love on both sides. You will feel it when some Brother or Sister will have real love for you. Follow that life, embrace it, love back.

    I want to end this with 1 John 3,18-24:
    “My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.”

  5. Uuuuh, I know I am writing a whole novel which I usually don’t like, especially not one-way. I just somehow feel to, very softly, maybe it’s just for one person, I don’t know, I just felt to complete this:

    To live in God’s beautiful Spirit, in His wonderful life means actually freedom, means no duty at all, means to not must to do anything anymore.
    It means to find the good desires in your heart that God gives you, the good things that you really want to do.
    Resist every coercing thought, even and especially if it wants to force you to do something good, even if it is with a bible verse backed up – God is not that way, He never forces us to something.

    The new covenant with God through Jesus is only the good that we really want from heart (Hebrews 8 + 10).
    And it’s a one-sided covenant, not depending on our perfectness, God accepts us faulty as we are and gives into our hearts good desires to live a life He delights in and which is really good for us.

    We are to embrace that good life and to stick to it with all our strenght and to follow it, which is mainly mutual unconditional love with Brothers and Sisters, being there for each other, making each other happy, as said mutual, not one-way – forget one-way serving for a minute, that is not what you need and not what God wants for you primarly (Gal. 6:2+10), but find peace in mutual acceptance and trust and care with others. But not only that, it means also to love your own life (Gal. 5:13-14), to enjoy your life God’s beautiful way in true love to your life.
    When the next best thing you can think of enjoying life is to jerk off watching porn or getting drunk or uncontrolled eating junkfood (lust that doesn’t care about yourself), then you don’t really know what enjoying life is.
    All this is not loving yourself. Enjoying life God’s way, from the good which comes from God in your heart is always totally free from sin, wholesome good for you, full of inner peace and joy and love to life, to nature, to yourself, to others.
    Getting drunk or smoking or whatever loveless lust thing is not from the good from God in your heart, it is much rather an escape and even hating yourself.
    We are to die to these impulsions whilst holding on to the good desires from God and finding the true life with Him.
    We are to discover and to learn to discern the truly good and beautiful desires from God in us from the loveless ones, to discern true joy from fake joy.
    When we follow the good desires from God, that satisfies our soul divenly, even if it something natural like enjoying to ride bicycle or so – and it gets easier and easier to resist the sinful, loveless shortcut-satisfaction-replacements the world offers you.

    I want to finish this with these two Bible passages:

    Eph. 2,7-10:
    “Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.”

    Even though I would not call it “work” how Peterson translated it, for “the kingdom of God is … righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit”, it still shows how important it is to live in that life of God, in His beautiful, gentle Spirit of freedom and love – it’s hard for me to find the right words, I recommend reading Romans 8 in the Message.

    Romans 12,1-6:
    “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
    I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
    In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.”

  6. I feel the need to add this:

    Trying to follow Jesus, even to trust Him, can be an act of dead performance.
    We can know all the right words, father, trust, unconditional love and so on,
    we can even believe that Jesus loves us unconditionally (which He does),
    but if we don’t have that real personal thing with Jesus, it’s all dead.
    Then it’s just some type of positive thinking psychology.
    We can not achieve the living Jesus, not even by trust.
    We can not find the living Jesus on our own.
    Only our Father can give it to us, that we truly can find the living Jesus. Let’s just ask Him in all honesty. We need the living Jesus.

    “This is why I told you earlier that no one is capable of coming to me on his own. You get to me only as a gift from the Father.”
    John 6,65

    And only when we really have Him, when Father gave it to us that we can truly come to Jesus with all our heart, then alining with Him in life as written above is the wonderful life, but not without it.

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