Transforming Love #5 (#853)


Kyle and Wayne begin with a follow-up to last week's podcast through emails and blog comments from our listeners. They talk about safe places for vulnerability and the importance of relational repair when something goes wrong in relationships. Then they continue their conversation about Transformational Love, this time talking about how the process can go wrong and what relational repair we can do to get back on track with how we engage his love.

Podcast Notes:
The Jake Colsen Book Club will be held Saturday, July 2 at 1:00 pm PDT.  You'll have to work that out in your own time zone. We will be covering Chapter 3 on Christian education.  You can get a link to the Zoom Room by emailing Wayne and asking for it.


  1. Hi Wayne and Kyle…
    Exactly the truth… part of the major reasons we suffer what we suffer is because of the lies we believe.
    This has been so true of my life. Been in a very intimate relationship where I was made to believe a false religious understanding of what submission is and is meant to be. I did this and suffered so much oppression from my own spouse for years, believing I was being submissive. But I’m grateful for God’s Mercy that has brought me into the light and better understanding of God’s Love and His word. Now I can stand up for myself, I’m listening to the Holy Spirit and walking in the light He shows me. I also hope to take the steps God leads me to take.
    Thanks a lot for digging through these relationship issues. I think it is the most important aspect of life.
    God bless you.

  2. Going too deep.
    Golf looks simple…until you try it. What’s so hard about hitting a ball that’s not even moving, right? Well, I’ll agree to a certain point. Anyone can hit the ball…the question is, “can you hit it to optimize spin, trajectory, and distance? In other words, can you hit it right?””
    There are very few in this category, and that is why the golf industry is chocked full of teachers who promise the secret to a great golf swing. I’ve watched their videos. I’ve subscribed to their daily emails in hopes of finally coming into the promised land of the few that can really play golf.
    Through years of dissecting my golf swing and rebuilding it from the ground up (more than once), I have come to this conclusion: golf is a game; it’s meant to be enjoyed, not sterilized…I went too deep and missed the diamond that was just below the surface.
    I look at life with god in a similar fashion…many times I’ve gone too deep. I have over-analyzed and sterilized this life of love in my attempts to find the narrow road that I have missed it. Not realizing I was already on the road because I thought it should look different, I left the road; I went too deep. Life with god was never meant to be complicated. It was never meant to be something that we have to struggle to find. The pearl of great price wasn’t found by digging deeply. Love simplifies; not complicates. Our urge to know how god is speaking, and what he is saying drives us way too deep. We miss life; life just below the surface. We concentrate so much on the mechanics that nothing flows freely.
    My golf swing has become so mechanical that I not only have gotten worse; I also enjoy golf less. What was meant to be a natural, free-flowing motion is now “heady” and full of tension thus inhibiting the club’s movement. I wonder if I wouldn’t be a better golfer if I had just stuck to what came natural 30 years ago…I wonder if I’ve gone too deep. I think I know that answer.

    • FOUR!… Couldn’t help it Kent! Yeah, the idea that we have to figure out each step or move in accordance with whatever stifles the relationship. The point of our redemption is the relationship or communion…real communion with our Creator from the inside out.
      Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, or entered into the heart of man the things the Lord has in store for those who love Him. Which tells us things are not always what we think these should be or necessarily are. Which means we cannot find our X on the map at every moment of the journey. The point is we are all in Him, and He is in us. When we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship/communion with each other.
      I have golfed very little in my years, but did enjoy discovering it was not as easy as it looked. I do love to hike, listen to the birds and take in the views Father created..even after the flood things are pretty spectacular. I see people glaring down at a 6″ screen for feed back as to how they’re doing. People run from one thing and then off to the next thinking this is pursuing Father. In reality, God is pursuing us through His love, which is deep, wide, broad and high. Father has often taken me back to childhood (not nostalgically) to rediscover the things He had created within me to enjoy as I journey onward with Him. Hikes is one of those, flowers, trees… Sometimes I’ve put away things for now or a season just to refocus on His love. When the whatever becomes only frustrating, I realize I’ve missed the simplicity of living in Him. Learning to enjoy the journey as we live loved by our Creator will get us where He wants us to be in the end. I think you might take up corn hole and learn to like, because pinning tails on real donkeys is also very hard!

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