I Have Only Been Trying to Survive (#864)
What would it mean for a spouse to give a trauma victim the benefit of the doubt? One wife answered it this way, "It would be that you would believe that where I have been, what I have done or not done, has never been to hurt you. I've only been trying to survive." Those words are from another woman to her husband about her trauma but speak so well for what many feel. Wayne and Sara process this email along with questions from others about the trajectory of their healing from trauma, including where God was 64 years ago, when Sara was being violated by her grandpa, and how the moments of reliving some of her trauma resolved enough for her to go back to sleep.
Dana's Poem about Trauma
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“Seek his presence and peace rather than the healing of the trauma.”
That’s new light for me and a reversal of my focus.
John, this particular quote also stood out for me. Also means shifting to a different lense to view my circumstances. Sue
When Sara spoke about not being able to say that she wanted to go to the bakery and not being able to voice her choice really resounded to me. I am the youngest of four and in growing up I just did as I was told. No one asked me what my choice would be or even my opinions. Unfortunately I married a man who also did all the choosing – even the honeymoon and I just let him do it of course! It took me 61 years to understand that my voice does matter and that God loves to hear what I think and what I say and that it is important to Him.
It truly is, Kathy. I’m glad you’re discovering this. No one’s wants are more important than anyone else’s, and a marriage definitely has to learn how both partners can live wholeheartedly and not be dominated by only one. Your voice is needed in the world and such a blessing to others. I’m glad Sara and you are both discovering this.