Redeeming Love: The Trauma Appears (#858)

This is part five of a seven-part series unpacking a very personal story of pain, trauma, redemption, and resurrection in Wayne and Sara's journey. Now that Sara is beginning to find a measure of safety in Wayne's affection, some lost and disturbing memories begin to emerge from Sara's past. Over the next few weeks, they increase in darkness and intensity as a new story emerges for her that makes sense of so much of Sara's journey and the trauma that lay hidden in her body.

Podcast Notes:
Previous podcasts with Sara - Learning Love More Deeply (2012)  •  Finding Our Way to Us (2020)  •  Finding Our Way to Us Part 2 (2020)
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Try Softer by Aundi Kolber
Being Known Podcast with Curt Thompson, MD - Season 4 is about unpacking trauma
Helpful video:  How to Find a Therapist


  1. I can most certainly relate to that Wayne, my wife of 50+ years has put up with me for decades. Numerous years ago God brought me to an amazing human helper who has his own story and now lives to come alongside others.
    No doubt you aspire the the truth that on this side we never really arrive, but we can get to where we can help others as we have been helped as we continue to deepen in His Truth and Love. Blessings to you and your Loved one.

  2. There are many who have traveled this road before you and understand that it can be long and arduous.
    There are support groups available that you may find helpful as you continue to explore and work through the issues that are emerging. In time you will be in a place to help others.
    Best wishes and much love to you both on your healing journey.

  3. Sara and I have such similar life stories, it’s incredible to finally have some peace of mind knowing we are not crazy. I am currently healing from trauma, and so many of the things Sara talked about ring true for me. The being busy, not resting, fawning, always taking care of everyone, not meeting our needs, always thinking someone is going to be mad, I have all the same trauma symptoms. Thank you Sara and Wayne for sharing your story, it’s helped my husband actually understand me and for him to realize his frustration with our relationship wasn’t anything I purposely was doing. Thank you for your honesty and hard conversation. This trauma recovery needs to be brought into the light and understood, you have been a stepping stone in to that light. May God bless the both of you as you continue sharing your story.

  4. Thanks, Heather. I appreciate so much the comments we receive about spouses and friends responding differently now that they’ve had a firsthand account of trauma and the safe space it needs for people to tell their stories, process their pain, and find resolution for the trauma. It’s a process, maybe a life-long one, that will bear incredible fruit. You’re right, it needs to be brought into the light so that others can see and be healed. But there’s a huge price in doing so. So many trauma victims we know are hesitant to share their story because their family and friends don’t want to hear about it or don’t want to believe it. And many Christians just want people to “forgive and get over it” before real healing occurs. It’s such a tragedy.

  5. Wow your example of Father’s Love Wayne is inspiring and I don’t have words to describe except that to me it comes perfect to the Bridegrooms’s love for the Bride…thank you both for sharing as this story from both of you individually and together will help many…I even think of all the women who have survived trafficking…both of you are vessels of His Heavenly Love for those surviving and in trauma. Thank you both.

  6. Thank you for being so courageous to share your story Sarah ??. My heart was racing as I listened to your symptoms and feelings you struggled through. I never experienced trauma like you, I had a loving family growing up, but I have lived the last 40 years with that obsessive fear of making someone mad, of being hyper aware of where people are in my house and what they might need from me and it’s so exhausting. Ive gone through cycles of self hate many times over the years that I think Jesus keeps healing. I’ve never been able to relax on my husbands days off. I think I need to talk to Jesus about this, and I’m thankful for you being so vulnerable – it so resonates with me and now I have the chance to work through it with Jesus rather than feel so unhappy but not see.

  7. Those question marks are supposed to be a heart emoji! Not sure why it changed it.

    • (Wayne) Thanks for your kind words about Sara and me. It is much appreciated. I hope you find the same peace Sara is finding from hyperarousal. It’s a process, but I love seeing her so much more relaxed, even at this stage. I don’t think WordPress handles emoji’s well. Sorry.

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